


Yuri!!! On Ice Incorrect Quotes

by AndiMackmeetsHeathers



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:54:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 5,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28015788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndiMackmeetsHeathers/pseuds/AndiMackmeetsHeathers
Summary: Incorrect quotes in textpost form, with characters from Yuri!!! On Ice.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri & Victor Nikiforov, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Lilia Baranovskaya/Yakov Feltsman, Mila Babicheva/Sara Crispino, Otabek Altin & Yuri Plisetsky, Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky, Phichit Chulanont & Katsuki Yuuri, Phichit Chulanont/Christophe Giacometti
Comments: 28
Kudos: 84





	1. At the Mall

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy it! I'll add more characters as I go along. They'll mostly be short but sweet.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where's Victor's son???

Victor (looking for Yuri P.): Excuse me, ma'am, have you seen my son? He's about this tall, clearly gay, but we haven't had the talk-


	2. Marry Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Victor are clearly 'just best friends'... ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lack of words once again, it's short and sweet but worth the read, I promise!!! :)))

Victor: Yuuri is a great friend of mine! My best friend, actually. But that's all he is, I'm defintely not in love with him or anything.

Yuuri *waving at him* : Hi!

Victor *swooning*: Marry me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading it, any comments and kudos are appreciated, have a great day! :) 
> 
> L x


	3. Secret Handshake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Victor's new secret handshake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just thought this was a cute idea. Enjoy it!!!

Victor: Hey, guess what?

Yuuri: What? 

Victor: I just realised that we don’t have a secret handshake! 

Yuuri: Ooh, I love secret handshakes! Can we make one up?

Victor *smirking*: Sure. Give me your hand.

*Victor and Yuuri interlock their hands.*

Yuuri:...

Yuuri: Victor, I think we’re just holding hands.

Victor: Exactly!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading it, any comments or kudos welcome! Have an awesome day! :) 
> 
> L x


	4. I Need You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor thought he didn't need anybody...oh boy, was he wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it!

Victor: Honestly, I'm fine by myself. I'm independent, and besides, I already have Makkachin-what more could I possibly want? I don't need anyone.

Yuuri: *exists*

Victor, already in love with him: I need you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this, stay safe and have an awesome day! :)
> 
> L x


	5. Nobody...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody thinks that Victor and Yuuri are married, right?
> 
> Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy it! :)

Yuuri: Come on, Phichit. Nobody thinks that Victor and I are married, I'm telling you. Nobody. Okay?! 

Phichit, to a room full of their friends and hundreds of adoring fangirls: Raise your hand if you thought that Victor and Yuuri were married!

Everyone: *raises their hands*

Yuuri:...

Yuuri *blushing*: VICTOR, PUT YOUR HAND DOWN RIGHT NOW!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading it, have a good day!   
> L x


	6. My Age

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor trying to be old and wise, or alternatively, Otabek trying to do the same thing...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought you might like this! Enjoy :)

Victor: Yuuri, when you are my age-

Yuuri: What?! You're only four years older than me!

Victor: When you are my age-

**Alternatively:**

Otabek: Yuri, when you are my age-

Yuri: What?! You're only three years older than me! 

Otabek: When you are my age-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this, stay safe and have a great day! ♡
> 
> L x


	7. A Fairly Reasonable Person

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri's a reasonable person, isn't he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy it, stay safe and have a great day! :)
> 
> I love all my readers ♡♡♡

Yuuri: I would say that I'm a fairly reasonable person.

Also Yuuri : *is still awake at 3am for no reason with 32 tabs open on his phone at once.*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it, feedback appreciated, thanks for reading it!   
> L x


	8. I'm Not Clingy...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor insists that he's not a clingy person, but Yurio and Yuuri know otherwise...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it, leave kudos if you do!

Victor: I'm not clingy, Yuuri, I don't know what you mean! 

Yuri P.: Yesterday, he went to the store for half an hour, and you started crying into my shoulder about how much you missed him. 

Victor:...

Yuuri *looking smug*: Exactly.

Victor:...

Yuri P:...

Yuuri:...

Victor: Okay, so I might be a bit clingy-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this, stay safe and have a good day :)))


	9. Burning Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is there something on fire in the kitchen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I took the original and extended it, please comment on it or give it kudos if you like it!  
> Thanks! :)

Yuuri: *walking into the kitchen of his shared apartment with Yurio and Victor, sniffing*: Is something burning?

Victor *leaning across the kitchen counter seductively*: Just my desire for you, my beautiful little Katsudon. 

Yuuri: Victor, the toaster is on fire.

Victor *acting fake surprised*: Oh, so it is. 

Yuuri: Well don't just stand there, do something! 

Yuri P.: *shakes his head in exasperation at Victor's antics and heads back to his room, disappointed that his breakfast has been ruined by Victor's stupidity, and muttering to himself in Russian*: I knew I should have never moved in with these idiots.

Victor: Hey, I heard that! 

Yuri P.: Good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading it, I really appreciate it. Stay safe and have a great day! ♡
> 
> L x


	10. Sleep!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor wakes up in the middle of the night with a very pressing question to ask Yuuri.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw// food and mild cussing 
> 
> That aside, enjoy it and have a great day!

Victor, breaking out in a cold sweat in the middle of the night: Yuuri, wake up. Wake up, Yuuri! *shakes his shoulder in an attempt to wake him up*. 

Yuuri: *mumbling, switching the bedside lamp on and fumbling for his glasses* What is it? 

Victor: Do dogs know that we love them, do you think? Does Makkachin? DOES MAKKACHIN KNOW THAT I LOVE HIM??? 

Yuuri: Victor, it's-*peers at the bedside alarm*-three in the morning. Go back to sleep.

Victor: *wide eyed and full of energy* I don't need sleep, I need answers! 

Yuuri: Sleep! 

Victor: No, I don't think I will. 

Yuuri *groaning, tired and fed up*: Okay, whatever. I give up. Do what you want. 

Yuri P.: *bursting into their room dramatically* OKAY, WHICH ONE OF YOU ATE MY POP TARTS?! 

*Makkachin trails in behind Yuri P., chewing on a pop tart.* 

Yuuri: Well, your answer's right there, Yurio. 

Yuri P.: Oh. *dropping down to pat Makkachin on the head, unable to resist doing so despite his anger*. Bad boy. 

Victor *sobbing*: No, he's not a bad boy, he is the BEST boy and I love him SO MUCH and he might not even know it! Makkachin, you know that I love you, right? 

Yuri P. *visibly confused*: What the-?

Yuuri *sighing*: Don't ask. 

Victor *rubbing Makkachin's belly lovingly*: I think he knows how much I love him. I hope he does. What if he doesn't?

Yuuri: Right, that's it. Yurio, get out, and take the dog with you.

Yuri P. *scowling*: But what about my pop tarts, Yuuri?

Victor *pouting*: But what about my dog, Yuuri? 

Yuuri: IT'S 3AM, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE! YURIO, GO BACK TO YOUR OWN ROOM AND TAKE MAKKACHIN WITH YOU. WHY YOU WERE AWAKE AND WANTED POP TARTS AT THIS TIME IS BEYOND ME, BUT THERE WE GO. AS FOR YOU, VICTOR, GET BACK IN BED AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, GO BACK TO SLEEP!

Yuri P.: Wow. Did not know you got that angry. I get it, I'm going.

Victor: Wait, please don't take Makkachin with you. *turning to Yuuri* Please can he stay with us for a few hours? 

Yuuri *relenting, his patience worn thin*: Fine. If it makes you sleep, then you can have him in here. 

Victor, throwing his arms around Yuuri: You're the best! 

Yuuri, rolling his eyes: Yeah, yeah, whatever. And Yurio? 

Yuri P: Yes? 

Yuuri: Sleep well, won't you? And tell us if anything is bothering you. We're here for you any time. 

Yuri P, smiling: Thanks, both of you. Goodnight.

Victor, distracted by Makkachin: Night. 

Yuuri: Goodnight.

Victor, getting back into bed next to Yuuri, with Makkachin settling down on his feet: Yuuri? 

Yuuri, half-asleep already: Hmm? 

Victor: I love you. 

Yuuri: I love you, too, Victor. 

Victor: By the way, I ate most of the pop tarts, then framed Makkachin for it. 

Yuuri: But h-

Yuri P, bursting back into their room angrily: WAIT, WHAT?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this!!! 
> 
> L x


	11. Can You Tell Him?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri wants Yurio to pass on a message to Victor, but he refuses to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it! Have a great day and stay safe! :)

Yuuri: Yurio, please can you tell Victor that I'm not talking to him right now? 

Yuri P., not even looking up from his phone: Do it yourself. 

Yuuri, frowning: I can't. 

Yuri P.: Why not? 

Yuuri: We're fighting. 

Yuri P, glancing up from his phone in surprise: You're literally sat on his lap-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for your support so far, I love you all! ♡♡♡
> 
> L x


	12. A Matter Of Opinion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yakov thinks he knows what's best for Victor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felt the need to include Yakov, and yes the first two lines are directly from a Vine. Enjoy! 
> 
> PS-sorry if any of this is out of character whatsoever, please bear in mind that I'm still new to the fandom anf don't know everything yet. Anyway, have a great day and stay safe! :)))

Victor: "HoW dO yOu kNoW wHaT's gOoD fOr mE?" 

Yakov: "THAT'S MY OPINIONNN!!!.."

Yuri P.:...

Yuuri: *sips his drink nervously* I knew this wasn't the best idea I've ever had...Yurio, you wanna go? 

Yuri P.: Yeah, sure, let's head out. 

*Everyone watches in shocked silence as they disappear* 

Victor: This is on you, Yakov. 

Yakov: Right, listen here, Vitya-!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this, all feedback appreciated!!! ♡


	13. Watch Your Profanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor reprimands Yurio on his language.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for swearing, but other than that, enjoy! :)

Yuri P., stubbing his toe on the table leg: Mothertrucker, dude, that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick!

Victor: Watch your profanity.

Also, Victor, two seconds later: Shit, where's my phone gone? 

Yuuri: Victor, you're a bad influence on that kid sometimes, I swear. 

Victor, beaming: You love me for it really. 

Yuuri, unable to resist him and his charismatic ways: I do. 

*They kiss and Yurio mimes throwing up, leaving the room, but of course he loves them both really.*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this, have a wonderful day!!! ♡♡♡


	14. Patience is Key

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri just wanted his damn waffle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw// food and mild violence. 
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Yuuri: Can I get a waffle? 

Victor, shoving Yuri P.: No, the new PS5 is MINE! I bought it with my own money! 

Yuri P., kicking him repeatedly: That isn't fair!!! You're so mean to me, you never let me have ANYTHING!!! 

Victor: Hey, you know that isn't true. 

Yuri P., challengingly: Isn't it? 

Victor: Ooh, you know what-!?

Yuri P.: What? 

Victor: You've got a right attitude on you! 

Yuri P.: You're a fine one to talk. 

Victor, gasping: How dare you! 

Yuuri, checking his watch to see that it's only 7:30am, and who is bored of this relentless, incessant argument at this point: Can I please get a waffle-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this, I love you!!! ♡♡♡


	15. Obviously

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obviously, Yuri Plitesky isn't gay...right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! :)

Victor: You're gay. 

Yuri P., crossing his arms over his chest defensively and death glaring him: Obviously, I'm not gay.

Victor: You were having a romantic relationship with a guy. 

Yuri P.:...

Victor:...

Makkachin:...

Yuuri:....

Yuri P., shrugging, not about to deny his feelings towards Otabek: You got me there.

Victor, smugly: See! I knew it, I knew it, Yuuri! I was right and you were wrong! You owe me ten dollars.

Yuuri: Victor, we should be more approachable about this. 

Victor, confused: How so? 

Yuuri *sighing and shaking his head slowly in despair*: Victor, why are you the way that you are?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading it! ♡♡♡


	16. A Ruined Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yurio's disappointment is immeasurable and his day is ruined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think he probably had a dream where he was living independently after his spectacular win, and then he woke up to reality.
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Yuri P., waking up the morning after winning a competition: The sun is shining, the birds outside are singing, today is going to be a good day. 

Victor, bursting into his room to greet him and congratulate him for the thousandth time: Good morning! 

Yuuri: Victor, come quick, Makkachin has ran out the door and into the streets! 

Victor: Not again! *runs off* 

Yuuri: So, Yurio, how are y-

Yuri P., who realises that he lives with two chaotic idiots: My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this, have a great day! ♡
> 
> L x


	17. Not Your Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the last time, Yurio is not Victor and Yuuri's son-or so he insists, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like the headcanon that Yurio lives with Victor, Yuuri and Makkachin, in case you couldn't tell...
> 
> Anyway, enjoy! :)

Yuri P., walking into the kitchen: I'm hungry.

Yuuri, barely looking up from his phone: Hi hungry, I'm Dad.

Yuri P., red faced with anger and embarrassment: OH MY GOD, YOU'RE NOT MY DAD!

_**Two months later...** _

Yuri P.: Victor, I'm gay.

Victor: Hey gay, I'm Dad.

Yuri P.: FOR THE LAST TIME, I'M NOT YOUR SON!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for taking the time to read this, I seriously appreciate it! Have a wonderful day! ♡♡♡
> 
> Lydia x


	18. The Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's dark, and Yuuri is scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw// food
> 
> That aside, enjoy! :)

Yuuri: Victor, it's dark, I'm scared. 

Victor: Don't worry babe, I've got this. *Stomps* *Sketchers light up* 

Yuri P., sat next door, eating a bag of chips, knowing he was the one who cut out the power: Pathetic. 

*Victor's Sketchers stop glowing all of a sudden, leaving both of them in total darkness*

Yuuri, getting knocked over, his glasses flying to the floor: Makkachin, get off me! 

Victor: Don't worry, my dear Katsudon. It's just me. 

Yuuri: Wh- *Victor kisses him passionately, and he kisses him back, then breaks away.* Oh. 

Yuri P., walking into the room, disgusted by their (just about) visible display of affection,making fake vomiting noises: Ugh. I knew I should have stayed with Yakov and Lillia, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this, stay safe out there and have a good day! ♡
> 
> ~Lydia xoxo


	19. Too Tall For Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor is too tall for Yuuri. 
> 
> (Not really but let's pretend he is).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// for mild violence.
> 
> I know there isn't a significant height difference between Yuuri and Victor, but I thought that this would be funny all the same. Anyway, enjoy the fic! :)

Yuuri: My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?

Yuri P.: Punch him in the stomach. When he doubles up in pain, kiss him.

Christophe: Tackle him. 

JJ: Dump him.

Otabek: Kick him in the shin. 

Victor: NO TO ALL OF THOSE. JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN. 

Phichit: Or just stand on your tiptoes. It's not hard. 

Victor: EXACTLY, THANKYOU!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this, don't forget to comment or give this kudos if you liked it, and have a wonderful day! <3


	20. Smile!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor wonders what Yuri P is so happy about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a text post and extended it, sorry if you don't like it or if the title seems unrelated to the topic. Regardless, enjoy! :)

Victor: You're smiling, did something good happen?

Yuri P: I can't smile just because I feel like it?

Otabek: Yuuri tripped and fell during practice today. 

Victor: WHAT?! ON THE ONE DAY I WASN'T THERE??? I NEED TO GO SEE MY BEAUTIFUL LITTLE KATSUDON-

Otabek: And off he goes. 

Yuri P: Those two are disgusting.

Otabek: Oh yes, completely disgusting. 

Yuri P: And so is romance. Yuck. 

Otabek, holding back tears: Yes, I totally agree with you, Yura. We're much tougher than that, aren't we? 

Yuri P, while drinking a glass of milk: Totally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this and have a wonderful day!
> 
> Lydia x


	21. Not In Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri definitely ISN'T in love with Victor...right???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I'd include more characters...so yeah, I did! Enjoy! :)

Mari: Yuuri, you're in love with Victor, I can tell. 

Yuuri, blushing: What? No, I'm not. What makes you say that? 

Mari, fed up of her brother's terrible lying: You literally carved 'V and Y forever' into a tree earlier. Inside a heart with an arrow going through it. 

Yuuri, sweating: It means Vitality and Youth forever??? 

Mari, not buying it for a second:... 

Yuuri:...

Mari:... 

Yuuri: Okay, fine, you got me, I'm in love with Victor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading it and have an awesome day! xxx


	22. Purple Tongues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri wonders why Yurio and Otabek's tongues are purple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for very mild slightly nsfw implications (making out). 
> 
> Also, as a disclaimer: Yuri P is 16 here in this fic, so him and Otabek are good :)))
> 
> (DONT WORRY, NOTHING MORE THAN MAKING OUT IS IMPLIED HERE AT ANY POINT).
> 
> Enjoy!!! Xxx

Yuuri: Why are your tongues purple?

Otabek: We had slushies. I had a blue one.

Yuri P: I had a red one.

Yuuri: Oh. 

Yuuri:....

Yuuri: OH.

Victor:

Victor: You drank each other's slushies? 

Yuuri, sighing: Victor, I love you and all, but you're not the brightest person sometimes, are you? 

Victor: I still don't get it. 

Yuri P: Of course you wouldn't, airhead. 

Otabek: That's quite enough. 

Victor: Wait. 

Yuuri:...

Otabek:...

Yuri P:...

Victor: OHHH I GET IT NOW! YOU MADE OUT! 

Yuri P and Otabek: *going red in the face* 

Yuuri: Okay, we're leaving. Bye! Have fun! 

Otabek, smirking at Yuri P: We will!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! I know this is more of a T rated chapter, really, but the rest are G so I'm sure it's fine. That aside, thanks for reading it and have an awesome day!!! ♡♡♡


	23. Such a Puta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some disrespectful Spanish words and a comedic misunderstanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw// swearing (in Spanish) 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't condone calling anyone any nasty names, let alone a female dog-regardless of whether that's in another language or not. The use of this word is entirely for the benefit of a comedic understanding. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!!! :)))

Yuri P: Lillia was on my back constantly today, I swear. 

Leo: Honestly, she sounds like such a _puta._

Yuri P: Yep, she is.

Victor, walking into the room: Hey, guys! Who's a _puta?_

Yuri P: Uh, nobody-

Leo: Lillia.

*Yuri P facepalms* 

Victor: I see. And what's a _puta?_

Leo: A b- 

Yuri P, putting a hand over Leo's mouth to avoid getting into trouble: A brilliant person. 

Victor: Oh, right. Well, you learn something new every day, don't you? *He looks at the time*. I think I'm supposed to meet Yuuri now, _adidas!_

Leo, muttering under his breath to himself: It's _adios,_ not 'adidas'. 

Yuri P: I know. But everyone knows that he's a bit airheaded. Ignore him. 

Leo: Okay. Also, that was a close one. 

Yuri P: You're telling me!!!

_**A few minutes later...** _

Victor, throwing his arms out wide for a hug: Yuuri, you're such a _puta!_ I love you! 

Yuuri, who knows Spanish: I'M A WHAT??? 

Victor, giggling: I know, it's a funny word, isn't it? You're a _puta,_ and you're my _puta._

Yuuri: Victor, I don't think you know what that word means-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading it, have a great day! Xx


	24. Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lillia gets to grips with what affection is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just thought I'd include these two, hope you like it! :)

Yakov: *shows Lillia any kindness or affection whatsoever*. 

Lillia: What is this? 

Yakov: Uhh...affection? 

Lillia: Disgusting. 

Yakov:...

Lillia:...

Lillia...Do it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this, if you liked this then please comment and give it kudos, it would mean the world to me! 
> 
> Thanks again and have a wonderful day! ♡♡♡


	25. It's JJ Style!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the other ice skaters are trying to get on with their lives peacefully, but JJ keeps appearing everywhere with a message to give them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to make this funny for you all, hope you like it and have a good day :)

Victor, perching on the end of Yuuri's bed: So, Yuuri, for the music, I was thinking-

JJ, popping up from behind the door: It's JJ style!

Yuuri: How did you get into my apartment? Get out!

_*JJ disappears as suddenly as he turned up.*_

_**The next day...** _

Christophe, flirtily, while on a walk with Phichit: I'd love to go to the Hot Springs with you some time, Phichit. What do you think?

Phichit, beaming: I'd love-

JJ, appearing from behind a tree: It's JJ style!

* _Christophe and Phichit scream, horrified, and JJ leaves.*_

_**Several hours later...** _

Yuri, at a café on a date: Beka, I'm sorry for running away earlier after you kissed me. I was just scared of my own feelings. I think I...

Otabek: Yes, Yura? 

Yuri, shaking a little: I love you, Otabek. 

Otabek, smiling widely: I love you too, Y- 

JJ, appearing from behind the counter: It's JJ style!

Yuri, practically jumping out his skin: What the f-

Otabek: Get out, man! 

_*JJ goes.*_

**_A few days later..._ **

Sara, at a local library with Mila: So, do you think moving out there would be too expensive? 

Mila: Maybe. We've got to consider the m-

JJ, jumping out from behind a massive book case: It's JJ style! 

Sara: What the actual hell, JJ?! Go! 

_*JJ slinks off, disappointed at everybody's lack of enthusiasm towards him.*_

**_A week later..._ **

_*Otabek, Yuri P, Victor, Yuuri, Phichit, Christophe, Mila and Sara have met up at the mall and are just walking through it.*_

Victor: And then Yuuri bumped into me outside the bathroom, was so shocked he dropped his towel and turned red. I wasn't complaining, of course. The view was- 

Yuuri, turning fuchsia: Victor, shut up, please! You're humiliating me.

Christophe, listening enthusiastically: No, no, it was interesting. Have you got any more stories like that, Victor? 

Phichit: I have! Once, Yuuri- 

JJ, springing up suddenly from behind a pillar: It's JJ style! 

Victor: Seriously, JJ? Again? How sad.

Yuuri: JJ, what happened to your girlfriend? 

JJ, with sadness written across his face: She left me a few weeks ago.

Yuri P, muttering darkly: I wonder why. 

Yuuri, scandalized: Yurio, apologise this instant! 

Victor: Нет-нет, он прав. 

Yuuri: In English, please? 

Victor, whispering into his ear: I said that he's got a-(Yuuri glares at him, anticipating that he's about to say 'he's got a point')-terrible attitude on him. Apologise, Yurio! 

Yuri P, rolling his eyes: Sorry, JJ.

JJ: It's fine. 

Otabek: Look, sorry about your girlfriend and all, but please leave us alone now, JJ. 

JJ, walking off sadly and muttering to himself: It's JJ style...

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this, stay safe and thanks as ever for your support, it genuinely means the world to me!!! ♡♡♡


	26. Way To Run A Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christophe suggests a terrible way to run a business.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw// mild nsfw implications 
> 
> Hope you all like this, it seems in character for Christophe to say. Anyway, enjoy! :)

Christophe: Hey Phichit, I like your shirt! 

Phichit, beaming: Thanks! It was fifty percent off. 

Christophe, winking at him: I'd like it more if it was a hundred percent off. 

Phichit, confused and completely oblivious: What? The store can't just give out free stuff, you know! 

Christophe: That's not what I- 

Phichit: That's a terrible way to run a business, Christophe!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this, I seriously appreciate it. Stay safe and have a wonderful day!!! ♡♡♡
> 
> L x


	27. If I Don't Do My Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yakov just wants Victor to buckle down and do his work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for a food mention. 
> 
> I like referencing vines, so here's another! Also, someone asked me to post what Makkachin is really thinking, so that's what I'm doing in the future as well! 
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Yakov, to a younger Victor: Buckle up and do your work, or you'll end up at McDonald's.

Victor, excitedly, picking Makkachin up and sitting him on his lap: We're going to McDonald's if I don't do my work!? 

Yakov: No- 

Makkachin, internally: Victor is an idiot, but he's my idiot of an owner, at least. And I get lots of treats! 

Victor, disappointed: I knew that, obviously. I was just testing you. 

Yakov, shaking his head: Just go and have a break, and get that dog out of here. 

Victor: Come on Makkachin, we're going for a walk. 

Makkachin, internally again: Finally!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this, remember to drink water and have a great day! ♡♡♡


	28. Phichit's Wisdom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phichit wants to give some advice to the newly engaged Sara and Mila.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw brief mention of alcohol/ drinking alcohol 
> 
> Sorry about Phichit rambling, I just thought it would be funny, and thanks to the person who requested this! 
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Mila, to Victor, Yuuri, Yuri, Otabek, Christophe and Phichit: I have an announcement to make-Sara and I are getting married! 

Yuuri: Congratulations! 

Victor: Good luck! 

Yuuri: What do you mean, good luck? You say that like being married to me is hard, or something.

Victor, realising his mistake: Um-

Christophe, butting in: Wow! I'm so happy for you! 

Otabek: Good on you. 

Yuri P: Yuck. Shows how ancient you are, hag. 

Mila, faintly outraged at his comment towards her: Hey! 

Sara, grinning and holding Mila's hand: Thanks everyone for your congratulations, it's going to be in just over a year, just in case anyone's wondering. 

Yuuri: That's awesome! 

Victor: Wow. 

Yuuri: Victor, you're acting so weird tonight- 

Victor: Am I? 

Everyone: Yes. 

Yuri P: He's been drinking again, that's why. Mostly hot wine, but a good few glasses.

Yuuri, shocked: VICTOR! What did I say about not drinking too much wine before we go out? 

Victor: I don't remember. 

Yuuri: You never remember anything! 

Victor: That's not true! 

Everyone: Yes, it is. 

Victor: Okay, anyway, back to you guys. 

Christophe: Phichit, you've been awfully quiet. What are your thoughts on this? 

Phichit: I've been gathering some thoughts. I have some advice for you, if that's alright? 

Sara: Sure! 

Mila: Sounds good to me!

Phichit: Many people call marriage a bond of love. Of course, others would argue that it is the government's way of getting involved in your personal life. But enough of that. Let's go back to love, shall we? Okay, so love is a deep force, and the most powerful thing on earth. There are different types of love, all reserved for a multitude of things: platonic love, for friendships and familial relationships, the love we have for pets, the love we have for our passions (such as ice skating), the love we have for the things we enjoy and then there's romantic love. Romantic love is something not everybody experiences, or intends to experience, amd that's valid, but everyone here is experiencing it, like Victor and Yuuri, Otabek and Yurio, myself and Chris, and you two. Anyway, romantic love isn't always about the pretty things we dream of as naïve children or even young teenagers. Of course not. You all know that by now. Love runs deep in the core of our souls and gives our lives purpose, but that doesn't necessarily mean it is perfect. Love is messy, hard and painfully difficult. Love isn't always turning up to someone's house with a bouquet of flowers, sometimes it's holding their hair back or their hand while they throw up, it's cleaning up their mess when they're unwell, it's trusting them even when you're doubting them, it's boosting their confidence, it's not all whispering sweet nothings into their ears at night. On this topic, everyone thinks about their wedding and all the fun parts, but never the marriage itself. To make a marriage last, you've got to have more than just love: you need trust, and lots of it. You always need a stable relationship, one in which you both support each other. You also need honesty and integrity to make things work. If you have those things, and try not to argue too much, then maybe the relationship will work out, maybe not. Best of luck to you both, regardless!

Mila:... 

Sara:... 

Victor:... 

Yuuri:...

Otabek:... 

Christophe:... 

Yuri:... 

Phichit:... 

Yuri: What the hell, Phichit!? 

Phichit: What?

Sara: How did you come up with that? 

Mila: You're not even married! 

Christophe, winking at Phichit: Not yet, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for taking the time to read this, hope none of you mind the ship or the rambling. I already have ideas for the last two textposts so please don't suggest anything to me.
> 
> Stay safe and have a wonderful day! ♡♡♡  
> L x


	29. This House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yurio thinks their house is a nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for food, swearing and mild nsfw implications (making out, nothing more).
> 
> Well, here it is, folks! The penultimate (ie second to last) chapter of this fic! Yuri is sixteen here, for the record. I wanted to incorporate the whole 'what Makkachin is thinking' thing in here too, and will probably do so in the last chapter, too. Another vine reference here!
> 
> Hope you enjoy it! :)

Yuri P, opening the door to the apartment: Quick, we need to get back in before they hear us.

Otabek, whispering: Then try being more quiet, Yura, so you don't wake either of them up.

Yuri P: Don't tell me what to do. *He hears shuffling* Okay, I'll be more quiet.

*They manage to shut the door successfully. They're just creeping back to their respective rooms-Otabek is now under Victor's tutelage, and is living with them-when Yuuri appears in front of them, his arms folded across his chest.*

Yuuri: What the hell do you guys think you're doing?

Otabek: Yuuri, I can explain.

Yuuri, raising an eyebrow: Go ahead, then. Be my guest.

Otabek: Uh-

Yuri P: Getting midnight snacks?

Yuuri, shaking his head: Getting midnight snacks? _Seriously?_ You two must think I'm Victor, or something.

Victor, upon hearing his name, trailing ibto the kitchen with Makkachin by his side and rubbing his eyes: What's happening? What's going on?

Yuuri: I just caught these two sneaking back in after what I'm assuming was a night out.

Victor: I don't see an issue with that...

Yuuri: They're not supposed to be up so late, that's the issue! And no doubt you were snogging up against a wall somewhere...

Yuri P, snorting: _Snogging?_ Is that the best word for it you can come up with, old man? 

Otabek, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly: I had a DJing job to attend to. I took him with me. 

Yuuri, surprised: Otabek! You should have known better than to do that. You're an adult, he's still a kid. 

Yuri P, defensively: No, I'm not! I'm sixteen now, I'm practically an adult! 

Yuuri: Not true! You're a minor.

Victor: You're still pretty small, Kitten. 

Yuri P: DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME A KITTEN, I'M NOT A KITTEN, I'M A FUCKING HUMAN BEING WITH THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS! 

Yuuri, growing angry: Yurio! That is no way to talk to Victor, or anybody, for that matter. Apologise right now!

Yuri P: No, why should I? 

Yuuri: Because you swore at him, that's why. And you're acting in a rude and disrespectful manner towards both of us right now. 

Makkachin, internally: What's going on? Why are they all shouting at each other? Should I join in and start barking? 

Yuri P: And? 

Yuuri: I'm fed up of your attitude, young man! 

Yuri P: You sound like my parents. Newflash: you're not! 

Victor, rolling his eyes: And don't we know it?

Yuuri: Victor, you're not helping right now. Yurio, you could have come to a lot of danger, especially being as famous as you are and everything. Otabek, I'm disappointed at you for taking him. You turn twenty this year. Come on. You should have known better. 

Otabek: Yeah, I know. Sorry, Yuuri. 

Yuuri: It's not me you should be apologising to, it's Yurio for putting him in danger in the first place. 

Otabek: Yura, I'm sorry for putting you in danger. 

Yuri P: No need to say sorry to me. Thank you for showing me what a good time and a bit of _fun_ looks like, something I'm sure these two know nothing about.

Victor: Hey! Yes, I do! 

Yuuri, sighing: As do I, but that's not the point. The point is, you were wrong for what you did this evening, both of you. 

Otabek: Sorry. 

Yuri P: I'm not sorry at all. 

Victor, sighing: Of course you're not. 

Yuri P: I'm not sorry that I got to dance with Otabek and hold him close and make out- 

Otabek, flustered: _Yura._ That's quite enough. Apologise to them. 

Yuri P: No, why should I? 

Yuuri: Okay, you know what? You're in time out! GET ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE! GET UP THERE! 

Yuri P, climbing onto the fridge: This house is A FUCKING NIGHTMARE! 

Victor, confused: I thought we lived in an apartment?

Yuri P, from the top of the fridge: IT'S A SAYING, _BAKA!_

Victor: Yuuri, what does that mean?

Yuuri: It's Japanese for 'idiot'. And I have to admit he's got a point. 

Victor: Hey! 

Yuuri, smiling: It's okay though, because even though you're an idiot, you're my idiot. 

Victor, pulling him closer to kiss him: Come here, you. 

Yuuri, after breaking away from the kiss: Right. Otabek, go to your room. We'll have words in the morning, but for now, you're grounded for a week. 

Otabek: What!? But I'm an adult, this isn't fair!

Yuri P: You can't ground him, this is my fault!

Otabek, shaking his head: Yura, this is my fault, not yours. 

Yuri P: If you insist...

Otabek, nodding: I do. 

Yuuri: Okay, now get to your room and don't disturb myself or Victor further, you understand?

Otabek: Yes, Yuuri. I understand. 

Yuuri: Good. 

Victor: Remember to get up for practice tomorrow. And that goes for you, too, Yurio. 

Yuri P, rolling his eyes: Whatever. When can I get down from this fridge? 

Yuuri: Later. Goodnight, Otabek. 

Victor: Night, Otabek.

Otabek: Goodnight. Sweet dreams, Yura! 

Yuri P: Night, Beka. Love you. 

Otabek: Love you too. 

Makkachin, internally: Ugh, how cheesy. To think that I was woken up for _this?_ How tragic. When are we going back to bed? Do I at least get some sort of reward for being awake at this time? 

Victor, making vomiting noises: Ew, and no more of that lovey dovey crap in this apartment, okay? 

Yuri P: WHAT?! 

Victor: You heard me.

Yuri P: But you and Yuuri-

Victor: Are _both_ adults and know what we're doing. 

Yuuri: We're not saying don't be together, we're just saying don't do all that around us, got it? 

Otabek: Fine. 

Yuri P: We'll see...

Yuuri: Seriously? Do you want to spend longer in 'time out'?

Yuri P: I'd prefer not to.

Yuuri: Then do what you're told.

Yuri P: Which is what, exactly?

Yuuri: Behave, listen to what we say, don't be overly affectionate with Otabek around us, and _no more late nights._ Alright? 

Yuri P, reluctantly: Alright. Can I get down now? 

Yuuri: Are you going to be good?

Yuri P: Yeah, sure.

Victor: _Yuri Plisetsky!_

Yuri: Fine, yeah, whatever you say, Yuuri. Whatever you say.

Yuuri, convinced: Okay, then. You can come down now.

Yuri P, while climbing down: I can't believe you guys. You don't let us have any freedom or fun, I swear.

Yuuri: We do, just within reason.

Yuri P: Whatever you say, old man. 

Victor: Hey, take that back! I won't have you talking to my husband like that!

Yuri P, robotically: Sorry for being rude to you, Yuuri. 

Yuuri, with a small nod: Apology accepted, Yurio. Now, it's late-about half past two in the morning by the looks of things-so I'd advise you to get some sleep to ensure that you'll be ready for practice tomorrow, yeah? 

Yuri P, not wanting to invite any further argument: Yeah. 

Victor, beaming: Night, Yurio.

Yuri P: Night.

Yuuri, with a weary smile: Goodnight, Yurio. 

Yuri P: Goodnight.

_*Yurio and Otabek leave the room, and Victor kisses Yuuri on the top of the head.*_

Yuuri, nervously: I did a good job of laying down the law just then, right?

Victor, smiling: Of course you did, my beautiful Katsudon. You're an amazing father figure to the boy. 

Yuuri: You really think so?

Victor, nodding ruefully: I know so. Now, what do you say we get back to bed and go to sleep? 

Yuuri: Sounds like a good plan to me. Honestly, though, what would we do without that boy keeping us on our toes, eh? 

Victor, chuckling as they walked back to their bedroom: Tell me about it. 

Makkachin, internally: I love Yurio and everything, but he sure does irritate me. At least I'm going to get some sleep now. 

Yuuri five minutes later, upon seeing the bathroom is a mess: _**YURI PLISETSKY, YOU'RE DEAD!**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for taking the time to read this, stay safe and have an amazing day! <3 
> 
> L x


	30. His Husband

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Victor says something that gets on Yuuri's nerves, and their family life is put on display to a group of strangers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw// swearing 
> 
> Here we have it, people, the final chapter of this fic! I hope you've enjoyed reading all of this as much as I've enjoyed writing it! For those who celebrate, merry Christmas and Happy New Year (here's to a better one)! :)
> 
> Enjoy!

Victor, to a group of skaters: This is my ex-boyfriend, Katsuki Yuuri. 

Yuuri, nudging him while Victor laughs: Victor, you've really got to stop introducing me like that.

Yuuri: I'm his husband. 

Yuri P, stood behind them: YOU DON'T SAY? It's not like I have to hear that EVERY DAY or anything. 

Victor: And this is our sixteen-year-old son, Yuri Plisetsky. 

Yuri P: I'M NOT YOUR SON!

Yuuri: Yes, you are. 

Victor, bending down to stroke their dog: And so is Makkachin. 

Makkachin, internally: Why must you embarrass me this way, human?

Yuuri: Yurio, come back here, I'm sorry for calling you a kitten!

Yuri P, in the distance, with Yuuri chasing after him: FUCK YOU! 

Victor, turning back to the other skaters, chuckling: It's a dysfunctional family sometimes. 

Makkachin, internally: You can say that again. 

Otabek, appearing seemingly out of nowhere: I'm their son-in-law, Otabek Altin. 

Victor, eyeing him up suspiciously: Not yet, you aren't.

Otabek: Mmm-hmm. 

Yuuri, sweating and out of breath as he returns: Sorry about that, our son tends to get a little...carried away, shall we say? 

Yuri P, rolling his eyes: Whatever.

Otabek, softly: Hey, Yura. 

Yuri P, his demeanour changing in an instant: Hi, Beka! 

One of the skaters: So, you all live together, yes? 

Victor: Yes. 

Yuuri, wrapping an arm around him: And we wouldn't have it any other way. 

Otabek: I mean-

Yuri P: I would.

Makkachin, internally: I would.

Victor, beaming: That's right, we wouldn't, because we all love each other so much, don't we, guys? 

Yuuri: Of course.

Yuri P, through gritted teeth: Yep.

Otabek: Yeah. 

Makkahcin, internally: We do.

Victor: I couldn't be happier with my chaotic family, I love them all and that's what matters. 

Yuuri: We all love each other, no matter what. And that's what counts. Nothing else is important.

Victor: Exactly. Well said, Yuuri. I love you.

Yuuri: I love you, too.

Victor: Always?

Yuuri, grinning: Always. 

Victor, kissing the top of his head: Well, that's all I needed to hear. Any more questions?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this fanfiction, I seriously appreciate all the comments and kudos and hits. Your support means the world to me and I could not be more grateful for it. Stay awesome, everyone, and have a wonderful life! <3
> 
> Yours Truly,  
> Lydia x

**Author's Note:**

> Give it kudos if you like it! Sorry that this first one was so short, but it felt like a good fit for the character dynamic between these characters, thanks for reading it and have a great day! :)  
> L x


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